On Regret

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about regret and what it really means in accordance with m life. I’ve had conversations with friends about it in the past and have proudly stated that as of those times I had no regrets for my life. I never thought twice about just spitting out that phrase.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my life and opportunities that have been kind enough to jump on the road in front of me. I don’t do much out of impulse. Impulse doesn’t suit me. I ran through the lists of logical reasoning to do or not do what I was presented with and found it easy to not have any qualms over my choices.

As I’ve been looking back at my life, reading about the lives of others, and seeing all this drama about discrimination unfold all over the country, I’ve been reevaluating my thoughts on regret for myself. There are things in my life I cannot change. These things cannot be a regret because I cannot do anything about them.

There are some things that I have full control over. My decision affects everything. Lucky for me, almost all of these do not require an impulse decision. I chose where to go to college after many months of research, I chose which jobs to go for after evaluating my qualifications and working on several applications, I chose where to move when it was time to move on and make some changes in my life.

Then there are things I most likely cannot change within my lifetime. I can only hope to pass on the right information and knowledge to my offspring in hopes that they will help to shape and make the world a better place.

No matter what happens, the decisions are still mine. I like to let my mind wander think about what could be different if I had chosen the other option. It’s a fun little trip off to fantasy land. But if I had made that choice, I know that something I have in my life wouldn’t be here now.

I like my life. It’s a good thing. I have a wonderful man who loves me and provides me with a good home. I have a wonderful child who surprises me every single day with some new thing he’s discovered. Our lives are simple. We’re all happy and healthy.

I see people posting pictures and stories about certain adventures they have and I start thinking, “If I didn’t blah blah then I could do blah blah.” Then I catch myself. And I remind myself that if I changed anything about my life, I wouldn’t appreciate it the way I do now. And no matter how many fun things someone may post about, I’m not seeing the whole picture.

No one posts about the bad things. Sure, I can be a little envious of fun vacations and excursions people have. But I am just as capable of doing the same things myself, it just takes a little more preparation to make sure my family is taken care of as well.

So what is the point of all this writing? Well, I’m not sure I have one. I just needed to get some thoughts in order. I do not regret where I have led myself to be in this life. I am jealous by nature, hello, I’m human! But I don’t see any reason to feel poorly about the decisions I have made in my life. I hope that you realize the same: Jealousy, ok. Regret, no way!

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